Cheese Doodles

Ciao, Hej, привет, and Hello

Coreglia Antelminell, Italy| Manhattan/Brooklyn, New York| NJ
Parent:Why don't you come socialize with the family?
Me:*sits with family*
Me:*gets insulted by entire family*
Me:*goes back to bedroom*

esotericbeefarmer:

robot:

Albino Animals

The crow is so cool. Wow.

(Source: ddiego, via myflawedfairytale)

bettydays:

I have a story.

So my sister got run over by a car once. It was a pretty big deal. Well like a year later she got into a little fender bender and was really bent out of shape about it, so I went and got her a cake. 

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When I put in my order for the cake, the guy at the bakery asked, “Do you want it to say anything?”

And with a perfectly straight face, I said, “‘Sorry you got hit by a car again.’”

He narrowed his eyes a moment, then nodded and wrote it down, and took it to kitchen to get the writing done.

All the way from the back of the kitchen, I hear a woman shout, “‘Again’?!”

(Source: toocooltobehipster, via pmon3y69)

Tourist:Could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
New Yorker:No, but I could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant.
Tourist:
Tourist:
Tourist:
Tourist:I came here to have a good time and honestly I am feeling so attacked right now.

bewwbs:

how to get girls to like you:

  1. compliment their eyebrows
  2. eat them out

(Source: a-greek-goddess, via hybrist0philia)

dragon-in-a-fez:

sassykardashian:

IF YOU EVER GET IN A FIGHT WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER JUST BREATHE IN THE HELIUM OUT OF A BALLOON AND HAVE AN ARGUMENT AND THE FIRST ONE TO LAUGH LOSES

you just put every marriage counsellor out of business

(via hybrist0philia)

buckbarrow:

buckbarrow:

buckbarrow:

i’m home sick with the flu and i just received this email from my father

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STOP REBLOGGING THIS MY DAD THINKS HE’S SOME INTERNET SENSATION AND HE WON’T SHUT UP ABOUT IT

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still Hangin with Yo frienz one year later

(via hybrist0philia)

hanukkahlewinsky:

i love when old people figure out how to do something on a computer that’s actually really simple but to them it’s like 

image

(via jinxing-twilight)

there-was-no-other-sound:

rnultiplayer:

wanna know what a cow looks like washed and blow dried?

image

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that is what a cow looks like washed and blow dried

FLUFFY MILK HORSE

(via jinxing-twilight)

snorlaxatives:

waking up and realizing you still have more time to sleep

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(via jinxing-twilight)

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